Blog : Racial Trauma

On October 2 , 2019, America witnessed something both extraordinary, awe inspiring and yet deeply conflicting at the same time.

When Botham Jean’s brother, Brandt Jean expressed forgiveness towards Amber Guyger for intentionally murdering his brother in his own apartment, it triggered an uproar for understandable reasons. Many wrote about the concerns of white Christians and America in general, who weaponize black forgiveness and use it as an opportunity to selectively gloss over crimes against Black bodies.  The granting of forgiveness on its own, “sends the wrong message  when it doesn’t afford the same leniency toward people of color who are incarcerated and caught up in the criminal justice system at higher rates than whites,” said Changa Higgins, the Head of the Dallas Community Police Oversight Coalition.

While such conflicting feelings and messages are significant portions of the discourse, I am here to focus our attention on the observed general theme of the misapplication and misunderstanding of forgiveness altogether that becomes dangerous if we do not get it right. I am not questioning the genuineness of Brandt’s decision (that is between him and the Lord), but I am highlighting the unconscious motivation that drives the need for Black Christians to extend forgiveness publicly, prematurely, impulsively and/or irresponsibly.

We often see forgiveness played out like this from Black Christians who have experience unimaginable racial trauma, and have suffered great violence and catastrophic loss by their white counterparts. In the depths of such loss, we see Black Christians take upon themselves the burden and ownership of displaying unwavering strength, without fully processing the magnitude of what occurred. This behavior is one of the effects of racial trauma that causes Black Christians to censor their pain and the rawness of negative feelings, in order to subconsciously avoid the false narrative as the “angry” “aggressive” “divisive” “unforgiving” Black man/woman on national TV.

We saw the same demonstration of forgiveness during the Charleston massacre shooting. 21 y/o Dylan Roof entered Emmanuel African Methodist Episcopal (Mother Emmanuel) Church in SC during their weekly Bible Study, staying until the end of the study, to then murder nine Black congregants right after the study. Just 2-days after that unspeakable trauma–still drowning in the shock of what transpired, the victim’s family members were surprisingly announcing they forgive Dylan Roof, also on national TV. Dylan roof, on the other hand stated he had no remorse for his actions, was yet calmly detained and taken to Burger King for lunch by law enforcement.

I am encouraging Black Christians to find peace in knowing that though the gaze of White America and societal stress may be influencing how you handle the effects of racial trauma publicly, you are not obligated to make it all look clean and pretty. The effects of trauma is so messy, its ugly, and far from tidy. You are not obligated to run towards forgiveness if your heart is not ready. God will still meet you right in the midst of the unbearable pain and gently guide your heart towards closure.

I am encouraging all of us as Christians to a healthier understanding and application of forgiveness altogether. The truth is, forgiveness is simple, and yet complicated in action. It is an integral part of our healing from the trauma.

And forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us…If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. (Matthew 6:12, 14).

Here are some examples of what forgiveness is and what it is not.

What Is Not Forgiveness:

Forgiveness does not mean a person should not be held accountable for their actions. It does not mean we must take upon ourselves the burden to advocate for the relinquishment of their consequences either.

Forgiveness does not mean it has to happen 1.2 seconds after the offense. Our Lord never put an explicit timeframe on when we needed to forgive, but that we should forgive. This means He understands that forgiveness is not only a command but also a (working through) process.

Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation.

Forgiveness does not mean you have to keep yourself open to more harm or abuse.

What Is Forgiveness:

Forgiveness means that I have accepted that the offense happened, not that I accept that the offense was ok.

Forgiveness means that I have worked through and acknowledged the emotions attached to the offense/crime/ trauma.

Forgiveness means the letting go of  holding onto the offense/crime/ trauma altogether. It was awful. It happened. Choosing forwardness.

Forgiveness means redefining the trauma and not allowing the trauma to define you.

Forgiveness means I am still choosing forgiveness when the painful emotions come back up again and again and again and again.

Forgiveness means sanctification.

Forgiveness mean I can still pray for accountability.

Forgiveness means I can still pray for justice.

Forgiveness means I can still pray for mercy.

Forgiveness is an act of unconditional, undeserving love and an act of obedience between you and God.

Forgiveness means I have the choice to forgive you whether you apologize or not.

Forgiveness involves healthy boundaries.

Forgiveness means I do not seek personal vengeance, rather I lay down my claim to vengeance for you to face with the Lord.

Forgiveness is ultimately freeing.

May we all be a little clearer on what forgiveness is. May we become more aware of the effects of (racial) trauma and its impact on how we extend forgiveness.  And may we rest in the freedom of Christ in knowing God is still with you, even when your heart may not be ready to move towards forgiveness and acceptance of the traumatic offense right now.

“Black forgiveness is admirable when it is freely given and not demanded or expected. And the best response to black forgiveness is to prevent the harm that makes it necessary in the first place,” Jemar Tisby, author of  “The Color of Compromise: The Truth About the American’s Church Complicity in American Racism”

Deep prayers for healing and comfort for Botham Jean’s family and all those who are grappling with the ongoing effects of (racial) trauma. #BothamJean #RIP

Let me just start off by saying this is not a politically driven post. The topic of racial justice or racial unity is a therapeutic, spiritual and social issue that affects all of us, especially clients of color who represent vulnerable minority groups.  What we are witnessing in our Country is the topic of race being catapulted back into a national discourse due to the state of America. Many have called this the 2^nd Civil Rights Movement, while others are chanting “Make America Great Again.”

Despite your own personal views regarding race relations in our Country, I implore you to take advantage of the opportunity to be informed and carefully and consciously engage when appropriate. These discussions are painful but necessary. Here are some things to consider prior to opening your mouth.

Consider the reality that ignoring race issues is not an option for our clients and friends of color: Here’s Why?

The truth is, as a Black therapist I would love more than anything not to be negatively reminded of the color of my skin or be perceived negatively because of my stance on (racial) justice. That is a privilege I just do not have. Its tiring to hear comments like “you’re an educated Black person,” “ you’re being divisive, “you’re making a big deal out of nothing” or “you’re unforgiving” because I am speaking about issues that matter to my livelihood but make individuals uncomfortable. Be aware that these instances are the norm for people of color who live in a Country that make policies and pass laws that affect their lives and their children’s lives.

Consider acknowledging your own racial bias.  

We all have them. They are those attitudes, stereotypes and/or belief systems that are often not rooted in truth, but drive and influence what we think and how we treat people. Comments like “Asians can’t drive because they can’t see” or “Black men are scary and aggressive” and so forth and so on. Such biases are dangerous. Are you aware of some of your racial biases? What are they and why are they not true?

Consider being proactive in identifying ways that you are NOT a racist.

If you are quick to defend that you are not a racist, may I challenge you to consider ways that you are anti-racist.  What are you doing to combat racism? How are you challenging your implicit and explicit bias that can lead to partiality, prejudice and racist harmful actions?

These are all difficult but necessary questions to ask yourself before engaging in any racial discourse. These questions help strengthen your level of awareness, cultural sensitivity and competency. This awareness is key to the therapeutic relationship. Please do not allow these questions to discourage you.

Many people of color, particularly African/Black Americans, have been emotionally triggered recently as a result of two more fatal police shootings involving #Terrance Crutcher and #Keith Lamont that occurred in North Carolina and Oklahoma just a day a part last month, as well as other fatal shootings that have occurred throughout recent years, list of fatal shootings of black men and women. Triggers occur when an event or situation reminds you of another painful or traumatic situation in your life. This feeling is one of intense anxiety, mixed with overwhelming and crippling emotions like fear, that shocks the brain with increased levels of stress hormones.

Racial trauma or “race-based traumatic stress” occurs when one experiences racial harassment, institutional racism or witnesses racial violence (Bryant-Davis, & Ocampo, 2006; Comas-Díaz, 2016) — and I would add, racial partiality and racial discrimination as well. These experiences are considered traumatic because they produce an overwhelming and unmanageable emotional response. Massachusetts Supreme Court as an example, recently ruled that black men who attempt to avoid encounters by fleeing from the Police, may have a legitimate reason to do so and should not be deemed suspicious, adding that black males “might just as easily be motivated by the desire to avoid the recurring indignity of being racially profiled” (Vogue, 2016). When you examine the current events of police shootings of black men and black people in general, as well as personal anecdotes of racism in this Country, it is appropriate to suspect that many black Americans (as well as people of color), may be struggling with race based traumatic stress that may have progressed into PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). **Please note, I am not formally concluding a diagnoses here. If you feel you are struggling with race base trauma or PTSD, please schedule an appointment where a formal assessment can be completed and appropriate treatment can be rendered**

Some general symptoms of PTSD include:

• Reliving the actual traumatic event through invasive thoughts, nightmares, or flashbacks.
• Avoiding situations, places and people that remind you of the painful memory.
• Negative changes in mood (feeling more sad, irritable or easily angered), as well as negative changes in how process information.
• Increase  hypervilgilence or the feeling of being hyperaware of the threat of danger when there is no current danger.

Here are 8 things to do now to help your Black neighbor who may be struggling with race based traumatic stress:

Pray.

Ask the Lord to soften your heart to the concerns of your black neighbor. Confess and repent of any hidden bias, hatred, fear, indifference and any other sin that may be hardening your heart from listening, seeing the truth that racism still exist, empathizing and lifting up your brother or sister who is hurting in this area. We must start here because prayer prepares the heart for change I John 1:9

Listen.

Sounds pretty simple, but this act is often replaced by rebuttals, justifications and simply excuses as to why black Americans just need to “comply” or “obey” the police and everything will go well with them. That may be true for some, but many black individuals have very differing experiences that show that this is not true for them. Therein lies the concern as to why two juxtapose experiences exist. You serve black people well when you take a posture of listening and learning even if and when you disagree James 1:19

Avoid dismissing or minimizing one’s pain.

It only creates more pain and re-traumatizes a person when you dismiss or minimize one’s concerns. It is not helpful when you start sentences with, “if you would only…” You are essentially saying black people have no justifiable reason or right to be angry  because had you “complied” or “respected” police orders, you would not have died. That statement and belief alone sounds very oppressive and places all of the blame and responsibility on the back of the offended and wounded party. This is doubly hurtful when this rhetoric is coming from influential Christian leaders such as Franklin Graham

Avoid the colorblind approach.

“I don’t see color” statement can be very hurtful to black people and people of color who are constantly reminded about the color of their skin because they are frequently treated differently as a result of it. The colorblind approach is not helpful for two reasons:

• It denies the reality that racism exist

• Second, colorblindness perpetuates racism because it highlights the concept of privilege. To say you do not see color is in fact a luxury if you are not constantly reminded or treated differently. Since the Lord God celebrates diversity, as Christians so should we. In heaven there will be many people from many tribes and tongues and languages worshipping the Lord on the throne Revelations 7:9 We are to embrace our differences and treat people impartially, not ignore our differences or treat individuals partially because of them.

Stop using diversion tactics.

This approach avoids addressing your black neighbors’ concerns. Bringing up things like “Black on Black” crime for example, is irrelevant to the persons concern at the moment. It can appear hurtful, dismissive and insensitive and it assumes that black people are not concerned about their communities. Many are very much so concerned and are doing the grassroots work towards building up their communities.

Empathize.

It means to nurture a heart of understanding even if you cannot completely relate to another’s experience. You can empathize when you imagine what it may feel like to be unheard, oppressed and abused. You can empathize with your black neighbor by showing a heart of compassion. Scripture tells us to weep with those who weep, mourn with those who mourn Romans 12:15. It does not say to do this only when you can completely relate.

Educate Yourself.

If you do not understand or see how systemic racism is presenting itself today and its effects on black people and people of color, you will have a difficult time connecting and loving your black neighbor well in this area. Here is a sample link to tons of gospel centered resources to help increase awareness:  Resources,  Pass The Mic Podcast,  RAAN

Use your voice.

Speak up when you witness your friend, uncle, mom, dad, cousin, sister, brother, etc., say bigoted, prejudicial and unloving comments about individuals who do not look like them Ephesians 5:11. You can use your privilege and influence (as an example), to affirm the hashtag/statement #BlackLivesMatter as a theological affirmation of Genesis 1 and not necessarily agree with aspects of the organization. As a Christian, you can affirm it simply because God has created black people in His image Genesis 1:27, and they matter too. Lastly, you can use your level of influence to speak out against racial injustice or injustice of any kind, recognizing that these topics are gospel issues that merit acknowledgement and a response from the Body of Christ Isaiah 1:17.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of things to do, but they are immediate tips to begin applying today to help us love one another well in this area. This sets the foundation for healing to occur on both ends and is the building blocks for racial reconciliation and gospel unity.

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 References

Bryant-Davis, T., & Ocampo, C. (2006). A therapeutic approach to the treatment of racist-incident-based trauma. Journal of Emotional Abuse, 6(4), 1-22.

Vogue, Ariane. (2016, September 22). Massachusetts court: Black man fleeing police does not signify guilt