As a certified EMDR trauma therapist, I am a firm believer that all of our mental health struggles can be traced back to our individual and collective experiences with trauma. Our experiences with trauma impact how we parent, our perceptions of self and others, and how we respond in relationships. Often times, we are unaware when our traumatic responses are flooding into the present.
Practicing these tips below will help strengthen your awareness of the unconscious memories driving your behavior.
(If you do not feel comfortable doing these tips alone, please do them with a trusted friend or counselor)
Recognizing When the Past Is Becoming the Present
1. Pay Attention to your Behavior.
Does your “reaction” match the content of the situation OR is it an “overreaction?” Here’s what you can do to answer that question:
Identify a “mildly” irritating or “mildly” upsetting event.
When ___________________________________________________happened,
I felt______________________________________________________________
I thought__________________________________________________________
and I did _________________________________________________________
2. Become familiar with your somatic responses:
When you’re feeling irritated, stressed and/or overwhelmed, where does your body hold it? (in chest, head, back, etc.) How does your body respond? (racing heart, clinched jaw, overheating, etc.).
3. Have you felt this way before?
4. Take note of the connection between present feelings and similar past feelings.
5. Practice de-escalating techniques:
like mindful deep breathing, tapping, snuggling a pet, stepping outside for air, taking a warm bath, listening to soothing music, etc. to calm the brain of any over stimulation or triggers that may come up.
Reach out to a therapist to help process any painful memories that are present.
